TO CONQUER MY WORLD AGAIN.

She is my total extreme.

While I am prudent, she is outspokenly liberal. If I look demure, she seems sensual. When I almost almost die fighting for a love to stay, she sneers at the thought that I choose to die for it.  Where I was weak, she fills it with her strength. When we were younger and I was a self-declared waif, she gave me shelter and fed me - took me along with her wherever she went.I grew up with her and Peaches. Her family was my family. I f you don’t know her and you’ll just observe her from a 10-meter distance, you’ll flinch and be thinking to yerself that this woman’s a deep-rooted, smart-ass, hardcore bitch.

I could not exactly enumerate in detail all the stuff we went through together. All I know is that our friendship is the classic, long-standing example of one that stood the tests of time. All the up’s and down’s, temporary goodbyes, birthdays in the family, giving birth to our offsprings and seeing them grow up swiftly.

I love her until I die. She was the bright color that God used to paint my life with when it was black and grey and no matter how cliche - the wind beneath my sometimes wilted wings. I know I did not have the chance to give back to her all the love and kindness she unselfishly brought me all these years. This time I promise I’m never gonna leave her again.

Though I’m running out of words to define my plight in this truly lonely life, I feel stronger today more than ever because I know she’s back to conquer my world again and put aside this overcast…

MALAYA…

You are like the word melancholy.

Seeing the immortal.

Holding your breath and still smiling.

The beauty of your life is seen through your eyes.

And how you inspired so many people

with the language that you speak.

I told you yesterday that you are like

the Warrior of the Light.

Gaining wisdom from all the detailed momentum

of your colorful life.

I am enthralled by how you speak your mind now.

It seems so different if I were to look 15 years backwards.

It captivates one’s soul.

Carry on with your mission.

Thank you for your prayer.

(Written In My Hospital Bed For The Hero Of My Passion. The Silent Comfort. My Soul’s Solace. My Old, True Friend.Ronald Pasion)

6/25/2005 11:06:00 AM

MY NEVERENDING RUSE…

Part 2.

Buster.

Thank you for this sweet adventure. I know you truly mean what you always tell me. I also now know this much, though it’s always a struggle to veer away from the eyes of the crowd.

If they just knew how much inspiration this gives. And how happy every snatching moment seems.
You were right, somehow. To deal with it without giving a damn to anyone.
Though it’s always a sad thought when reservations play their part, I still believe you know the simple joy it brings me. To find each other from a distance and yet you know that you’re thinking the same, and hopefully feeling the same… I cherish the thought.

Thank you for saying I need not worry. My premise  will be unspoken, I promise.
The sad part is that I can never be proud to tell the world how much you make me laugh when you don’t say anything funny. And you tell me I need to catch up with that level.

When every single day proves to be a quiet struggle to be able to hide away from it all, I always sleep on the sadness that befalls me when I think about how much I am robbed of the opportunity to make everyone see that you make my life colorful in your very limited way, unimaginably.

I’d like to think that this is not just a ruse to blind myself. But it’s cool, buster. :)Though I know that I will never have the chance to always stay beside you like others do, I’m content at the thought that  when I do, the laughter and warmth linger - like an unspoken word at the tip of your tongue and you can’t get over the very thought of it.

I shouldn’t care about what they say.

FANCIFUL…

*HAPPY*
You look at yourself in the mirror and you see an image
of someone a little of a far cry from how you thought you once were,
and you experience lethargy….You looked back again…And you ponder
on how much of your lifetime was spent being happy. And the many years
that passed by you, replaced by the strength and wisdom you thought
you never had but they’re evident, in your two eyes….

You outgrow
the lethargy, then it’s FREEDOM….You’re smiling now….